The Dark Night of the Soul
About a year ago I entered a Dark Night of the Soul, it wasn’t the first time I had experienced this and I am sure it will not be the last time; in my journal I wrote:
The last two months have been a steep decent into a dark night of the soul, now that I am some-what out of it, it seems a good time to share the experience.
The Dark Night of the Soul, according to the 16th century Spanish mystic St. John of the Cross, is a time of “passive purification” in the mystical development of the individual’s spirit. (Of that I can certainly agree!)
My decent into my dark night started after a couple of new revelations in regards to my personal journey. The new awareness’s were the opening of the doors which permitted me to go deeper and find release from what I would call deep seated, hidden grief in regards to this, and past lives.
I was guided to turn off all screens and remove myself from outside stimulation; this included any music, laptop, tv, mobile phone and all people. I was available by phone 3pm – 6pm daily, that was it.
Sitting in silence is enjoyable and a wonderful experience, but when silence is all you have, when it isn’t accompanied by relaxation music or any other outer experience, and it is what you have ALL day, EVERY day, silence can become very loud. Throughout this experience, other than light chores, my days were filled with nothing but sitting in silence, reading spiritual texts, and some crocheting, for eight to ten weeks!!
At first it was a welcome rest from all the cleaning up of on-line sites, it brought much relief; but as time went by, it became quite a challenge. The lack of screens and pings from the phone were not an issue, it was nice to be off them, but just sitting in silence, and waiting for some sort of guidance or words of enlightenment was difficult at times. I have been through a few dark nights over the years and have always found them healing, no matter how long they have lasted or how difficult they have been, but the aridity of them can be challenging. It could be easy to choose to abandon the path or loose courage, especially if you try to meditate or apply reasoning, for these things are not of the path of the dark night, this path is one of contemplation. Trying to meditate and use reasoning whilst on this path can lead to fatigue and feeling that you have failed. The path of the dark night requires patience, trust, and a commitment to see it through to the end. It requires a complete abandonment to all else.
As you enter into that dark night of the soul in order for Great Spirit, The Divine, God, (call IT what you may) to be able to give you that which is required, such as pure light, love and healing; what is needed is for your soul to remain in peace and quiet, this alone can leave you feeling that you are doing nothing, and that what you are doing is a complete waste of your time. It is not a waste of your time, on the contrary, it is completing the need to leave your soul free and dis-encumbered, at rest from thoughts and knowledge as you find contentment within an attentiveness to the Divine.
According to St. John of the Cross: “contemplation is naught else than a secret, peaceful and loving infusion from God, which, if it be permitted, enkindles the soul with the spirit of love.”
Was it worth the agony? I hear some ask – all I can say is that as hard as it so often is, when you surrender to it, you have hope as your companion, and as you sit quietly and patiently with hope, impressions start to show themselves, grief can start to make itself known, it can show its face, it can cut deep at your heart, and if it comes, and you have the courage to permit it to show itself fully, you will be able to thank it and release it – and there is the healing I or you needed.
There will be times when you think you have come out of the dark night, but no, you realize soon enough that what you thought was the end was in fact just a break that you were given, a chance to come up for air, before going back down into the depths of what can feel like despair. As the days pass and even the weeks, as you surrender fully to the experience, you start to feel a change, you start to notice things you hadn’t noticed before, you start to sense or hear words or phrases or even complete messages that are specifically for you to help bring healing and/or direction; and with healing comes freedom, freedom from the past, the present, or even fears about the future. Eventually, the sun rises on your dark night and you are left feeling imbued with love and gratitude for all you have received and all you have released.
The dark night of the soul will be different for us all because we all go through healings at different rates, we all have things that need to be released, or direction that needs to be given, but there is often a right time for this to happen, it may not be the best timing for you, but it will be the right time.
We are The Quantum Warrior, The Master Architect of our life – Braveheart
