The Therapeutic Relationship
A therapeutic relationship needs to be built on trust, safety, empathy, and acceptance which forms the foundations of the relationship. With solid foundations in place, it creates a space where the individual can explore and manage their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours without entering into a power struggle.
Not all therapists will be your ‘cup of tea,’ they are still human, they still have faults, and they still have a personality which will come through during your time with them.
If you are feeling that you are not with the right therapist for you, the first question to ask yourself is why? Is it because they are too direct and take you quickly to the issues that need addressing? Is it because you are holding back? Is it because you have a general distrust of people?
Feeling that you do not have the right therapist for you isn’t necessarily because they aren’t, but often stems from your own insecurities, your own fears, your own issues. My suggestion would be to try 3 – 5 sessions and see if your feelings change as you become more relaxed with them.
Feeling that you can trust your therapist helps you to feel safe, feeling safe will help you to open up and be honest about your thoughts, feelings, beliefs etc. Psychotherapy and many other therapies can, and often do make you feel temporarily vulnerable, but if there is empathy and acceptance, coupled with trust and safety, then there is no reason why you cannot find the courage to be open and vulnerable. The more open and honest you can be, the more likely you are to find the freedom that you are looking for from the things that are bothering you.
Some therapists will share personal experiences, some will not. It comes down to two things, their personal beliefs about sharing personal experiences and their professional body expectations. If the therapist is with a registered professional body who disaprove of therapists sharing their personal experiences then they will have to abide by that.
One important thing to remember is this: your therapist is just that, your therapist, they are not your friend, they are there to help you and guide you on a deep explorational journey within.
We are The Quantum Warrior, The Master Architect of our life – Braveheart
